Routine

Num 32:11 'Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb the son of Jephunneh, the Kenizzite, and Joshua the son of Nun, for they have wholly followed the LORD.'

What does it mean to wholly follow the Lord? This is a question I've been thinking about personally for quite some time. At this point in the year, of my life, I get so wrapped up in routine that it's hard to confidently say I've followed God entirely. School, work, young life, repeat. I find myself wanting more, something more explosive and bright to be made of my daily life. I've been reflecting on it, and the only flags in my mind where I told myself I've wholly followed God are the glorious and dramatic moments in my life. The moments where I've been seen, in front of people, and have felt good about myself while doing it. Although these moments are special and worth looking back on, I find a problem with only keeping track of the glorious and spectacular moments of my life.

Caleb and Joshua spent decades wandering with the Isrealites. Literally walking in circles just to waste time and wait for the older Isreali generation to die off. Talk about routine. Yet after 38 years of the most mundane routine, God proudfully boasted of these dudes claiming that they had wholly followed him. After reading that I found myself asking God how in the world these guys, in the rut of everday life, could be so proudfully boasted of by their heavenly father. I mean, i dont know about you but when I'm in a pattern of eat, sleep and repeat my mind wanders and my walk with God grow complacent and cold. What interests me is that the Greek translation of the hebrew for "wholly" could aslo be replaced with "be full of" so in other words no only did Caleb and Joshua wholly follow the Lord, but they were completely "full of" the Lord. That, becase of the fullness they recieved from God, the mundane wandering wasn't mundane for them, it was a blessing. They may be wandering, but they were wandering because their God had ordained it, and they were full of love for their God.

I hope I can learn from these guys example. To start everyday not focused on the repetivity, but on a person. A God. I don't want to pray in expectation of the next dramatic moment God's going to use me for, but rather for recognition that because My God is so lovely, so passionate, so loving, even the most mundane days become glorious. Because my God is glorious, and because my days are about that God.

God forgive me for the daily lie,
That you've gone gold and left me dry
I find my passion runs clear so quickly
All the while you're waiting patiently
For me to take my eyes off of my own glory
And become aware that my small role plays a part in a grander story
That through my dim mirror I see routine
But through eyes of faith I see how you're shaping me
I want my heart to be so full of you
That grey becomes bright and every moment becomes new